Friday, November 6, 2009

Anglicanism's Breakdown Assists in Conversion


Introduction

Was it ironic or was it providential that two weekends ago when I attended the Coming Home Network Conference for Catholic converts the Vatican had just released a statement concerning a Provision for groups of Anglicans desiring to enter the Catholic Church?
There have been many prophetic commentators who have detailed the breakdown of the Anglican Church (called Episcopalian in the U.S.) over the last century, especially in the last decades with allowing the ordination of women, openly gay bishops, and now gay marriage. The liberal mind may see nothing wrong with such issues, but Divine Revelation in the areas of human morality and ecclesiology demand otherwise, which are other detailed dialogues not at present issue.

What is at issue, then, is that due to this breakdown many Anglicans and Episcopalians have realized the problem that, when having broken with the Catholic Church in the sixteenth century, they lost the stability provided by the Magisterium of the Christian Church.

Here’s a little Church History to put the matter into perspective for those not familiar with the history of the Christian Church and the Christian denominations that later arose.

Historical Context

The Catholic Church started with the Apostles as the original Magisterium, the Apostle Peter being the first “pope,” so to speak (this title was later added to his special office that Christ gave him). Acts, chapter 15, describes the first “Church Council” (Jerusalem) whereby this Magisterium exerted its authority over all the local Christian communities that the Apostles had founded. The Apostles chose men to be bishops over the local communities to take over their authoritative roles. Saint Ignatius, one of these disciples of the Apostles who they had made bishop of Antioch, has the oldest written usage of calling the whole church the “Catholic Church” (c. 107 AD).

The Catholic Church then underwent severe persecution for the next 300 years until Constantine converts to Christianity (to whatever extent) and frees the Church from persecution with the Edict of Milan in 313. Hereafter the authorities of the Church are able to enter into collegial dialogue and again address issues of concern for the sake of the whole Church by entering into Church Council, the first of which was First Nicaea in 325 and addressed the Arian heresy.

Over the next 1200 years the Catholic Church addressed heresy after heresy, consciously seeking to preserve the teachings of the Apostles while also better articulating them and addressing their implications. This last matter concerning the implications of apostolic doctrines has caused confusion for some, thinking that the Catholic Church has “invented new doctrines” over time. Not so. These “new doctrines” were nothing more that appropriately developed understandings of core doctrines.

Such was what partially added to the confusion for the Protestant Reformers of the sixteenth century who thought to prune down the developed doctrinal thought of Christian teachings. One of these apostolic teachings rejected by the Protestants was the role of the popes – the role of Peter – as the sign of Christian unity. It was the responsibility of Peter at the Council of Jerusalem to bring the brethren together and make the final verdict. It had thus been the responsibility of the popes who succeed Peter's recognized role at every Church Council thereafter to do the same.

There were three major splits as a result of the Protestant Reformation: the Lutheran; the Anglican (or Church of England); and the Calvinist. These are the first major “denominations” (the Catholic Church is not a “denomination” as it is the original whole). From these three splits, having abandoned the Teaching Magisterium of the Church, over the next 400 plus years what has resulted was constant disagreement over doctrine and practice and thus further and constant denominational splits. Now, statistics suggest that there are well over 30,000 Protestant and Evangelical denominations.

Some groups within the Anglican Church have remained theologically closest to the Catholic Church as the denomination’s split was not instigated by theological debate (at least those unaffected by Calvinism). As many know, it was due to King Henry VIII’s desire for a divorce. Herein, many Anglicans have always referred to themselves as “Anglo-Catholics,” recognizing that the ancient term “catholic” (or “universal”) is not really the “name” of the Christian Church, but rather a defining characteristic of it. In other words, the Church that Jesus Christ founded is “universal” in that it encompasses “all nations” with the one teaching that the Apostles spread abroad.

Present Situation

Now, many Anglicans and Episcopalians are coming to recognize and appreciate the role that the papacy – the Petrine Ministry/Ministry of Peter – had played in maintaining Christian unity over the first fifteen hundred years before the Protestant Reformation. Thus, many have petitioned the Vatican to allow them to re-enter the Church while retaining aspects of their Anglican liturgy, since it is not much different from the Mass. Hence, the Vatican made the recent Provision.

Cardinal Francis George, Archbishop of Chicago and President of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, responding to the Vatican’s Provision, released this statement,

“Today the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has received word of the new Provision in the form of an apostolic constitution issued by the Holy See for the reception into full communion with the Catholic Church of groups from the Anglican tradition. The USCCB stands ready to collaborate in the implementation of that Provision in our country.
“This step by the Holy See is in response to a number of requests received in Rome from groups of Anglicans seeking corporate reunion. The application of the new Provision recognizes the desire of some Anglicans (Episcopalians) to live the Catholic faith in full, visible communion with the See of Peter, while at the same time retaining some elements of their traditions of liturgy, spirituality and ecclesial life which are consistent with the Catholic faith.

“This Provision, at the service of the unity of the Church, calls us as well to join our voices to the Priestly Prayer of Jesus that ‘all may be one’ (Jn 17:21) as we seek a greater communion with all our brothers and sisters with whom we share Baptism. For forty-five years, our Episcopal Conference has engaged in ecumenical dialogue with The Episcopal Church, which is the historic Province of the Anglican communion in North America. The Catholic Bishops of the United States remain committed to seeking deeper unity with the members of The Episcopal Church by means of theological dialogue and collaboration in activities that advance the mission of Christ and the welfare of society.”

My Final Thought

There have always been individual Christian converting to the Catholic Church, but this Provision is a glorious instrument for fostering Christian unity and will hopefully be a great sign for other Christians to come back to the Church in groups. Christian division is a great scandal to the world as it causes conflict and confusion. May Jesus’ prayer to the Father be fulfilled concerning the Church, “that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them” (Jn 17:23).

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Coming Home Network (CHN) 2009 Conference



"The Pillar and Bulwark of the Truth"



In the last three decades there has been a great increase in Protestant and Evangelical ministers giving up their pastorates to become Catholic laymen. Many people, especially non-Catholic Christians, may read that first statement and say, “WHAT?! Why the heck would they do that?” Let me tell you, because in Protestant and Evangelical circles this is one of those taboo topics that are usually not presented to Protestant and Evangelical laity. And if the subject is addressed, it is often misrepresented as some being "led astray." In the historical reality, it's all about getting back to historical Christianity!

Last Thursday my family and I drove 16 hours to Columbus, Ohio for this year’s Coming Home Network (CHN) conference. The conferences are titled “Deep in History, Deep in Scripture, Deep in Christ” in order to emphasize the original, biblical, and Christ-centered nature of the Catholic faith, matters often unrecognized by non-Catholic Christians.

CHN was founded in 1993 by Marcus Grodi, a former Presbyterian minister who, with the support of many other Protestant and Evangelical clergy converts, saw a needed resource for the many others who were still on the “Journey Home” back into the Catholic Church. CHN’s ministry is not about proselytizing people out of other church communities, but rather to be a resource of “stand beside” those who are considering the Catholic Church. In other words, CHN is merely there to assist those who, through their own academic and scholarly research, are coming to recognize that the Catholic Church is the “original church” founded by Christ and that what has separated Christians over the last five hundred years has been based upon the theological errors of individual men.

Catholics who are familiar with EWTN, the Catholic cable network, may know Mr. Grodi from his weekly program The Journey Home, where he interviews both clergy and laymen and laywomen who have come into the Church from various Protestant and Evangelical denominational backgrounds. He also interviews “prodigals,” those who have fallen away from the Catholic Church and have “come home.” Furthermore, Mr. Grodi interviews those who have become Christian from various religious backgrounds, like Judaism and Islam, and non-religious backgrounds, like atheism and agnosticism.

During the conference last weekend Mr. Grodi told the audience that since its founding in 1993 CHN has assisted over 1700 clergy from over 100 different Protestant and Evangelical denomination, whereby over 900 clergymen and clergywomen have become Catholic and the other half are still on the journey.

As a Catholic convert myself, I have a great appreciation from the beautiful testimony this brings to bear on Jesus Christ’s call to Christian unity (John 17:18-26) and Saint Paul’s condemnation of Christian division and faction as a serious sin (1 Cor 1:10, 12:25; Gal 5:20) as it causes great scandal to believers. These clergy, being academics and scholars, have a significant influence on the rest of the Protestant and Evangelical world. For to witness them entering the Catholic Church has continued to cause many to ask why.

The great division among Christians since the Protestant Reformation has caused much confusion among Christians asking themselves, “Whose interpretation is right?” Thus many Christians now “church hop,” looking for a denomination that sounds and feels the best for them as individuals. In contrast, as many academic and scholarly Protestant and Evangelical ministers have been coming to discover, ancient Christianity was not based on personal preference or individualism, but rather on object Truths revealed by God and an objective Church formed by Christ. In other words, Christianity is not a matter of “interpretation” but a matter of uncovering the objective Truths that Christ gave to the Church to “teach all nations” and ever protect.

In essence, what is the glory of the ancient Catholic Church that is now of great appeal to Protestant and Evangelical clergy and laity? In one word: stability. Even though there are many Catholics within the Church who act in defiance against the Church, those who are less rebellious of heart and more intellectual of mind see that the heart and mind of Christianity, the heart and mind of the Church, is that of religious truths whereby humanity can come together in loving unity. The stability of the Church, in its essence, is this holding of divine truth and the ability to unify souls under God. Thus, the Church is essentially the collective of humanity who Christ has drawn together in divine truth to purify souls and lead them to union with God for eternal life.

The great divisions that have come about due to the Protestant Reformation, where groups of people began breaking away from the Catholic Church, has caused strife within Christianity and broken down that brotherly love. Thus we often hear some within our church communities uncharitably mocking and criticizing those of other communities.

In contrast to the Protestant “Reformation,” there was also a “Counter-Reformation” made by the Catholic Church, whereby the Church sought to reform itself in appropriate ways. Herein, the Church recognized the Protestants’ legitimate concern for the need of reform within the Church, while at the same time preserving the doctrinal truths and unity of the Christian faith. At the time of the Reformation people began throwing out various truths of The Faith (like all 7 sacraments) and promoting their scandalous disunion with the Church.

Newman University, where I currently study theology, has the namesake of John Henry Cardinal Newman, one of those Protestant clergy converts who came into the original Church back in the mid-nineteenth century. One of his most famous quotes is, “To be deep in history is to cease being a Protestant.” In other words, when Christians become historically minded and historically educated they begin to see the continuity between Judaism and Catholicism; they begin to see the continuity between “one nation under God” - Israel - and the fulfillment of “all nations under God” - the Church.

The CHN conferences have always addressed specific topics of Christian concern. The first six conferences focused progressively on different eras in Church history, from "The Early Church" to the “Battle for the Faith: North America.” Now that the span of Church history has been covered this year’s seventh annual conference began the first of issue-based areas of Christian concern with the official role and authority of Christ’s Church.

This year's conference was titled, "The Pillar and Bulwark of Truth," a quote from Saint Paul in 1 Timothy 3:15 where he refers to the Church as "the pillar and bulwark of the truth." Many Protestants and Evangelicals who have stopped to consider those words are often startled. Paul refers to the Church as the upholder and foundation of truth, not the Scriptures. Why? Because the Scriptures need a guide to provide an appropriate understanding, such as was the witness of the deacon Philip (not the Apostle; see Acts 6:5) to the Ethiopian eunuch as described in Acts 8. The Church is the guide to the Scriptures, such as represented by a deacon, who explains the meaning of the Old Testament in light of Christ, and the meaning of the New Testament in light of what Christ has established through the teaching ministry of His Church.

Next year’s conference is titled "How Firm a Foundation: Authority through the Word of God" and will focus on the official role and authority of Scripture. Next year's conference will be October 22nd through 24th at the Hilton Easton in Columbus, Ohio.


For more information on the Coming Home Network or the conferences visit http://www.chnetwork.com/.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Love Thy Neighbor

(10/15/09 - My Catholic column for Newman University newspaper The Vantage)

On Monday last week I was working the campus phone in the Telecommunications office when right before I had to go to class at 11 a.m. the phone began ringing off the hook by the family members of Sharon Neimann (Program Director of Newman University Nurse Anesthesia Program), whose granddaughter Aubrey was involved in an accident and was in critical condition in Lubbock, Texas. You may have read the Prayer Request e-mail from Ann Edwards later that afternoon.

One of the family members who called in told me that Aubrey “might not make it through the day.” Immediately my heart was pierced with sorrow for not only our faculty member whose family this little girl was, but especially for the parents of the small girl. I became horrified and tears welled up in my eyes by what I was told had happened to her.

As a parent of a 14 month little girl who can now scamper around the house and find potential danger, it frightened me to image that my wife and I could possibly experience such a tragedy. I had to try to get the mental images out of my head for my 11 a.m. bioethics class. Yet, as soon as class had finished at 11:50 I resolved to pray for the child, for the professor (who I don’t even know), and for the family. So I immediately went to the chapel for noon Mass, told Father Tatro to ask the congregation to pray for the people, and personally offered up my Mass and day’s works in honor of the child.

Seemingly providentially, the readings captured my spirit that day in context with what I was experiencing and praying about. The Old Testament reading (Jonah 1:1-2:2, 11) was the story of the prophet Jonah called to preach against the city of Nineveh. The man did not know the people, as they were Gentile “foreigners,” but for that very reason he had no concern for them and thus chose not to follow his calling and was caught aboard a ship “fleeing from the Lord.”

The Gospel reading (Lk 10:25-37) was the story of the scholar of the Mosaic Law who questioned Jesus about gaining eternal life, wherein they both narrow in on the heart of the Law: “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” The scholar then poses the question, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus goes on to tell the story of the Good Samaritan, a half-Jew/half-Gentile, those despised by the Jews for their mutt-like religiosity, so to speak. Yet, Jesus makes the Samaritan the good guy, who came upon and cared for a Jew who was beaten by robbers and left for dead. The Samaritan, unlike those Jesus clearly contrasted in the story, was willing to have concern for another, not because of who he was, but merely because he “was moved with compassion.”

The messages of the both stories were clear to me: care enough for others, even those you do not know. Jonah should have cared enough for the Ninevites – to love his neighbors – to desire to preach against their sins with the hope for their conversion and salvation. The Samaritan fulfilled this calling. The point is famous and clear: we are all neighbors. We are to care for one another due to our mutual inherent dignity and value.

Yet, there are various ways we are called to care for one another, both physically and spiritually. Last Monday I felt as though the Gospel spoke to me as I “was moved with compassion” for the family of our faculty member and thought to lift the child and family up in prayer. Yet, there are still moments when I find myself being critical or less than compassionate toward some, even though I may intellectually appreciate the problem and effects of sin in the world. And thus I recognize my continued need to foster concern for all my neighbors and call everyone else to also foster their concern for other.

In the end, if we all fostered such concern in our minds and hearts, even to the point of being able to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt 5:44), a HIGH calling, the world would be in a much better state. To love our neighbors fosters healthy communities and on a grand scale healthy nations. To love enemies dissolves war, even if it’s unto martyrdom. Yet, even the early Christian martyrs converted Rome, as Tertullian prophesies, “The oftener we are mown down by you, the more in number we grow; the blood of Christians is seed.” Let us care not just for family and friends, but reach out all the more to our neighbors, even those we do not know.

To Teach the Christian Faith

(10/8/09 - My Catholic column for Newman University newspaper The Vantage)

As a convert led into the Catholic Church via answered prayers, I love it that I am now blessed to be able to write a faith-based column for the campus newspaper. Yet, there’s been a little controversy among some who read my article “On Martyrdom” a few weeks ago. In one sense, it’s expected when discussing moral issues. We have various appreciations of moral truths and are at different levels of union with God, some deeply, some not yet established.

Personally, I fell in love with Jesus Christ at my initial conversion experience when I came to the personal appreciation that my personal sins were, in part, the reason He offered Himself up as the loving sacrifice for the Father’s just punishment for sin. “We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

As my prayer life deepened I had clearly answered prayers that led me directly into the Catholic Church via the RCIA classes. I began going intellectually deeper via the depth of Catholic talk radio (locally 1360AM) which introduced me to apologetics, scholarly accounts of Church history, and the Early Church Fathers. My answered prayers and the intellectual power of Catholic apologetics are the bases for my book coming out in a few weeks, Praying Made Me Catholic: With the Biblical and Historical Reasons I Must Remain Catholic. Having come to an appreciation that the Catholic Church is the original Christian Church founded by Christ, I fell in love with Her also: “the Bride of Christ.” From there I knew I wanted to pursuit a theology degree to teach The Faith.

I started college at the University of Wisconsin, Marshfield. Eventually, I knew I’d transfer to a Catholic university for theology classes. Meanwhile, as a Catholic interested in social justice, the best thing I did was take philosophy and sociology classes (my double minor) and join the campus club Students Opposing Acts of Prejudice (S.O.A.P).

Being a secular university I became friends with a variety of personalities from many backgrounds. I established several good friendships with people from every section of the LGBT community. As my friends, they knew my theological convictions clashed with their lifestyles, yet as we interacted they came to know I still loved them due to their inherent dignity and infinite value as precious souls created by God. My conviction is that I am not to exclude anyone from myself, but love them even in their sins, as out Lord did, but not to love their sin, thereby seeking their good and to be willing to assist them in their freedom if they desire such.

At the UW we had a well known Christian club on campus, but the members came across as condescending, and thus none of my LGBT friends would be members very long. So I took it upon myself to found a Catholic club, the first in over 30 years. Despite the moral calling of Divine Revelation, my LGBT friends felt more welcome as I would express the Church’s teaching that, “They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives…” (CCC 2358).

Eventually I moved my family from Wisconsin here to Newman last fall because the school was initiating the Masters in Theology. At the same time, I had just finished the manuscript of Praying Made Me Catholic.

Clearly, I’ve not stopped writing since, as I am now writing for the Vantage as another outlet to express the ancient Christian faith. Yet, knowing that not everyone at Newman is a Catholic Christian, I tend to use apologetics when discussing matters (e.g., Scripture, Church history), as they are basic and easier to understand. As well, knowing that not everyone is Christian, when discussing moral issues I tend to address them according to the Natural Law. Natural Law is more approachable by basic human reason, as most of us share the same physiology and moral sensitivities.

This brings me back to the matter of controversy about my article a few weeks ago. I’ll admit, when addressing moral issues, I tend to be staunchly dogmatic. I’m sure this has much to do with my conversion experience, when my awareness of personal sin became heightened. When one makes union with the holiness of God one becomes very aware of the problem of sin. Yet, as I said last week, as Christians, when communicating with others, we are called to discuss issues like sin. Yet, we’re to do so in a non-condemnatory and compassionate way, sympathetic by the fact that none of us are perfect and we all have to battle temptations.

What has saddened me now, however, is how in the process of discussing matters of sin, some people have taken it personally and read my piece selectively. Again, when discussing moral issues controversy will be expected. Yet, I intentionally and clearly discouraged hate and discrimination. Of the LGBT community I said, “It is right that they should not be denied employment and housing…” (my anti-discrimination) “…as should be the case of anyone, as everyone needs to support themselves no matter where they are in their spiritual lives” (my rationale).

What’s unfortunate is how some people attempt to undermine the universal moral principles the majority of humans defend, whether Jew, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, etc., by vainly slandering them with inaccurate catchphrases like “judgmental,” “hypocritical” and “hate speech.” Those who slander me specifically do so to their own embarrassment when they discover that I have several close friends in the LGBT community!

In calling attention to “universal moral principles” is to say that they are not solely my morals, as I am not their author. They’re not even the morals solely of the Church, as She is not their author. God is the author of the moral principles of the Natural Law; thus they are easily accepted by most humans. Yet, it is up to the Church (clerics and laypeople) to articulate and uphold these moral principles, promote the holiness of virtue, and expose the destructive nature of sin in people’s spiritual and social lives. To go against the moral principles of Natural Law is to go against God, not me or the Church. Thus I don’t take such slander personally.

In contrast, there are various speculations of such organizations as the American Psychological Association and the American Sociological Association. Yet, they do not speak for God, and so their findings and theories are analyzed for what they are truly worth, some analytically good, some empty speculation. Yet, some organizations are deceptive when alleging that their findings are more than speculative. They may be compelling, but many compelling speculations over the centuries were dismissed when greater discovery and understanding came.

In the end, there will always be some who never choose God’s holy moral calling. Some even claim to have God in their lives while living contradictory ways. Thus Jesus made the analogy of people to good and bad trees, whereby we “will know them by their fruits” (see Matthew 7:15-23). Still, if Christians are speaking or writing lovingly, yet honestly (like pointing out certain actions as inherently sinful), they cannot be afraid to teach the truths of Natural Law, be intimidated by slander, or worse persecution.

Elementary philosophy tells us authentic truths are not a subjective. If two so-called “truths” contradict one another, either one or both is false. Yet, the moral truths of Natural Law have never been denied by most humans as merely speculative. Only recently does moral relativist philosophy do so. Still, the majority of people see through it, and thus we continue to protect people against such potential chaos with laws against breaking universal moral truths. As Christians we must love everyone enough to tell them the truth.

The Year for Priests

(10/1/09 - My Catholic column for Newman University newspaper The Vantage)

Unless you are familiar with either the ancient Greek of the New Testament you may be unaware that there is a Christian priesthood that offers a new form of sacrifice. And, unless you go to daily Mass here at Newman you may be unaware that the Church has declared this the year for priests, from June 19 to June 11, 2010.

The word “priest” is an English shortening of the Greek New Testament word presbyter, which is literally translated now in most English versions of the Bible as “elder.” In fact, Scripture speaks of two levels of priesthood: the priesthood of all believers and the ministerial priesthood. In our daily lives as Christians we continually offer our goods, our struggles, and our personal gifts up to God as our “spiritual sacrifice,” as Saint Paul called it.

The ministerial priesthood, on the other hand, offers a special sacrifice before God on behalf of the whole community. In the Old Testament the priests offered up various forms of sacrifices, such as “first fruit” offerings, which represented giving one’s best to God, as well as animal sacrifices, which represented detachment from idolatry. For example, the Egyptians worshiped bulls, so the Jews were called to sacrifice bulls, which represented killing false gods. In all this the Jews were trained to keep their focus on God.

In the New Testament Jesus put an end to the old sacrificial system, fulfilling the prophetic role of the sacrificial lamb while giving the Apostles (His new priests) the new sacrifice of the “New Covenant” of His body and blood – what Christians began calling the Holy Eucharist. In the Gospel of John, chapter 6, Jesus gives the preparatory teaching on the Eucharist as His “flesh” and “blood” becoming “true food” and “true drink.” Thus, in the Last Supper stories we have Jesus referring to the bread and wine as His “body” and “blood” of the New Covenant. As well, Saint Paul refers to the Eucharist as a “participation” in the body and blood of the Lord.

There was much controversy over the literal or symbolic nature of the Eucharist during the Protestant Reformation. As a result, one of the typical distinguishing marks between Catholics and Protestants is literal belief in the Eucharist and symbolic belief. However, when biblical scholars also become historians and properly interpret the words of Scripture to the historical record of what the ancient Church believed, we discover that for the first thousand years all Christians held a literal belief in the Eucharist.

Thus, you have men like Saint Ignatius, disciple of the Apostle John and the Bishop of Antioch, telling the Christians, “Take note of those who hold false opinions on the grace of Jesus Christ, and see how contrary their opinions are to the mind of God. ...They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer because they do not confess that the Eucharist is the flesh of our Savior Jesus Christ, flesh which suffered for our sins and which that Father, in his goodness, raised up again.”
As a disciple of the Apostles, this is the most ancient of clear statements of the Christian belief in the literal transformation of the bread and wine into the flesh and blood of Jesus, but from there forward this central and core tenant of the New Covenant is consistent.

You may be wondering why, when starting to talk about the Christian priesthood I diverged on a talk about the Eucharist. My point: Christ ordained a special priesthood to preserve and protect the teaching of the New Covenant and to bring the Christian community into communion with God. In other words, we NEED our priests! PRAY for our priests!

After daily Mass here at Newman we pray the following prayer. I encourage everyone to copy this prayer and praying it often.

O compassionate Jesus, I pray for Your priests. They are but weak and frail
human beings so stir up in them the grace of their vocation which was given
through the imposition of the bishop’s hands. Keep them close to You so that the
enemy may never prevail; let them never do anything unworthy of their vocation.

O Jesus, I pray for Your faithful and fervent priests, and for Your unfaithful
and lukewarm priests. I pray for Your priests laboring at home and for those
abroad in distant mission fields. I pray for Your lonely and desolate priests,
for Your young priests and for those who have served for many years. I pray for
Your dying priests and for the souls of Your priests in purgatory.

Above all, I pray for the priests closest to me, the priest who baptized me, those who
pronounced absolution over me in the sacrament of penance. I pray for the
priests at whose Masses I assisted and who gave me Your Body and Blood in Holy
Community. I pray for the priests to whom I am indebted in any other way. O
Jesus, keep them close to You and bless them abundantly in time and eternity.
Amen.

On the corner of First and Amistad

(9/24/09 - My Catholic column for Newman University newspaper The Vantage)

Mysticism and Christian union with God

If you listen to pop music regularly you’ve likely heard the new song from the band The Fray called You Found Me with the opening lyrics, “I found God on the corner of First and Amistad” with the great chorus, “Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me.” The song then goes on to express the loss of a close loved one, after which, within a period of loss and desperation, God finds him.


We don’t exactly know in what manner God “found” him, but in its simplicity this song reflects the experience of conversion in Christian mysticism. The initial conversion experience can happen in various ways, from the simple reception of a clear articulation of the Gospel message, to the grandiose of what is known as “mystical experience,” such as through visions and symbolic dreams.

Yet, herein one needs to carefully discern someone who claims to have had such experiences because, as Christ and the Apostles warned, there have been and will continue to be “false prophets.” Such persons use the reality of these experiences to their own advantage, for instance, 1) drawing people to themselves and 2) founding a new (false) religion.

An authentic prophet and authentic religion are 1) supported by the miraculous endorsement of God. Think historically now. The Old Testament is chronicled with numerous miraculous experiences, confirming the Jews in their faith while at the same time convicting the pagans to their idolatry as they recognized the presence of God with the Jews. At the same time the Jewish prophets 2) pre-announced a coming savior. Complimenting this, the New Testament is also chronicled with numerous miraculous experiences provided by Jesus Christ confirming His Messiahship, as well as organically fulfilling the Old Testament prophecies pre-announcing His coming – it was not a “new” religion.

In contrast to this, in the seventh-century we have a man rise up and claim to be a prophet of God. No miracles and no prophetic pre-announcement of his coming. He gathers people to himself as the “Last Prophet” and founded a new religion.

Twelve-hundred years later another man rises up and claims to be a prophet of God. No miracles and no prophetic pre-announcement of his coming. He gathers people to himself as “the prophet” and founded a new religion.

Within 30 years of this man a woman rises up and claims to be a prophetess of God. No miracles and no prophetic pre-announcement of her coming. She gathers people to herself as “the prophetess” and founded a new denomination.

Clearly I am being somewhat vague to be respectful of those who adhere to these religions, while at the same time defending certain religious principles of authentic divine revelation, principles established by God before such individuals rose up. Those who are interested can do the math and look into it. I know what this is like, as I used to belong to the last denomination before I learned these classical principles for discerning true and false prophets.

Getting back to mysticism then, authentic experiences of God lead individuals into authentic religion. People continually ask the important question, “How can I know what is true religion?” Last year I wrote an article in my column on these principles of discernment and I usually drop some of them here and there as I write all my articles, such as above. As I stated in another article last year, the word “religion” comes from the Latin religāre, “to bind,” implying a relationship. Thus authentic religion draws one into a relationship with God, as covenant theology explains. Authentic mysticism is union with God through a deepening of the covenantal relationships He has established.

Within my three examples there is an odd emphasis on the “prophet” and a total break with the progressive covenant relationships that God formed with humanity, first with Israel as one nation under God, and then with the Church as “all nations” (Mtt 28:19) under God.

Authentic religion, then, will not be without mystical experiences of God. Thus we find the history of the Catholic Church filled with the mystical experiences of God. Visions, dreams, the stigmata, levitation, bi-location, miracles of the Eucharist, etc. Yet, such experiences are not just “for the saints,” as some might perceive. The saints are who they are precisely because they denounced sin and sought after God with all their heart, mind, and strength. In other words, anyone who cares enough about knowing God can find Him. Or rather, He finds us, as the Holy Spirit draws into seeking after Him, since on our own we are but confused sinners. After He finds us, however, scales fall from the eyes (Acts 9:18) and we begin to see more clearly, especially matters of good and evil, sin and virtue.

The fist aspect of being able to enter into the mystical life is having the humility to be able to recognize one’s own sin. I am more than honest with the fact that I have moral weakness. In fact, before my conversion at the age of twenty in 2000, I can say “I was personally living a sinful life.” I had sinned against God in my pride. I often spoke blasphemously. I sinned against God in my lusts. I was a fornicator. Am I “judging” myself? No. I am acknowledging my sins – my brokenness – just as I should acknowledge when my car gets a flat – its brokenness – and need “healing” with a new tire. Thanks be to God for the forgiveness of sins at my baptism that year! Thanks be to God for the blessings from the gift of confession ever since!


Christians are not to judge people; rather, they are to acknowledge the evil of sin. Sin is already condemned by God, as by its very nature it is a distortion of the good, whereas people are inherently good and can repent of sin and turn to God. Some people throw around the phrase “don’t judge me” in attempt to shut people down from calling attention to sin. But they often fail to recognize we are not judging them, but rather the evil nature of sin. Sin has both extreme and subtle expressions.


Another basic level of the mystical life is growing in union with God through “a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him” (Eph 1:17). Christ said, “no one comes to the Father but by me” (John 14:6). Within this knowledge of Christ is the understanding of the New Covenant, wherein Christ offers up Himself as a sacrifice on our behalf, as only He is able to withstand the judgment of God on sin. Those who cannot recognize their own sins cannot apply Christ’s sacrifice to themselves as they remain unrepentant. However, the sacrifice of Christ for the repentant is applied through repentance in baptism and confession, and through covenant union with Christ in the Holy Eucharist.


Lastly, an essential aspect of the mystical life is growing ever deeper in prayerful union with Christ, as though intimate friends. This is where mystical experiences begin to take place. I encourage everyone to pick up books on the lives of the saints in order to be inspired in one’s own desire for a greater union with God. First, you have to want it!


Young Padre Pio showing the stigmata.
(May 25, 1887 - September 23, 1968

Picture retrieved from:

Milk Murdered, Not Martyred

(9/17/09 - My Catholic column for Newman University newspaper The Vantage)

Martyrdom, Morality, and Authentic Freedom

As Will Farrell’s character Ron Burgundy had once said, “Milk was a bad choice!”

The other night I decided to rent the latest Sean Penn movie Milk; the cover promoting it as “An American Classic.” I had heard a little about it from the previews: Harvey Milk was the first openly gay man to win a public service office in nineteen-seventy eight.

I usually enjoy historical films and I am all for civil rights. For what it was worth as a historical piece the writer and director did a decent job. However, there are certain moral sensitivities in the majority of humans that would rather not see certain actions. You can figure out what I’m talking about. A hand-full of scenes could have been left out.

Sorry for the spoiler if you decide to watch it after my warning, but the movie opens with the announcement by a woman that both mayor Moscone and supervisor Milk were murdered. Throughout the film it then covers the political campaigns and rise of Harvey Milk as known through his tape recorded dictation before his death. The film opens in the beginning of the seventies where he moves to San Francisco, opens a camera store, rallies the gay community to defend themselves and to activism, and by the mid-seventies he begins annual campaigns for his Castro neighborhood as district supervisor. It wasn’t until 1978 that he finally won. Near the end of the same year he was murdered.

Beyond the cultural desensitization and promotion of sin, what really agitated me to preaching (my poor wife!) was how the end of the movie portrayed his death. After a successful year of fighting a proposed law called Proposition 6 seeking to mandate the firing of any gay teachers or even those who supported gay rights Milk was sadly murdered by a fellow city supervisor. Immediately I perceived the film makers attempting to portray Milk as a martyr. Sure enough, after watching the special feature afterward one of his supporters, fellow supervisor Carol Silver referred to him as a “martyr.”

The term “martyr” has become greatly distorted in the minds of many who today misperceive the word to merely mean being killed for what one believes in. In other parts of the world some believe that they can kill themselves for their beliefs if they do so killing “infidels” – what we would classify suicide and manslaughter. The original meaning of martyr, however, meant to be a “witness” and was not intended to lead to death. Yet, in ancient times witnesses, usually of the lower class, were often tortured for the truth and even put to death for it.

This dying for truth became focalized in the person of Jesus Christ, who died for the sake of righteousness. As a Jew and follower of the Mosaic Law, in which were revealed moral laws, Christ lived perfectly and He taught that their essence was the Law of Love. At the same time, as the Redeemer of the human nature, Christ revealed the truth of His divinity so that He could reconcile humanity to God. In other words, being both human and divine, Christ became our link to God. It was primarily His witnessing to this truth that lead to Christ’s pre-ordained death, that He may become the atoning sacrifice for sin while conquering sin’s curse of death by His resurrection.

Christian martyrdom thus became an imitation of Christ for many of those united to Him ever since, dying for truth, especially in the twentieth century around the world. However, there have also arisen many imitators or distortions of martyrdom, like suicide bombers and those murdered for their beliefs and practices. Those murdered for unrighteous beliefs and practices clearly opposed to the Moral Law cannot be called martyrs.

A man like Harvey Milk is an odd case. In one respect he fought for civil rights, against job and housing discrimination against the LGBT community. It is right that they should not be denied employment and housing as long as their private lives do not interfere with their professional lives, as should be the case of anyone, as everyone needs to support themselves no matter where they are in their spiritual lives. In the complexity of the “gay rights” movement we find a mix of a fight for legitimate rights while also a desensitization of the culture to a lifestyle of sin. This movement is not equivalent to the various Women’s Suffrage movements (to vote, against domestic violence, equal pay, etc.) or African American Civil Rights, neither of which typically involve the promotion or desensitization to inherently evil actions.

Many philosophers will point out that the term “freedom” has also become greatly distorted in the minds of many as though meaning the ability to do whatever one pleases, so long as it doesn’t “hurt” someone else. That definition, many will point out, more accurately fits the term “license,” which also implies a lack of personal control in various aspects of one’s life. This confusion in terminology is due, in large part, to the moral decline of society with a modern democratic notion of rights as conflated with licentiousness. Thus many people lack control in their sexual lives, and this is not just concerning those same-sex desires, but also those involved in pornography, fornication, adultery, incest, pedophilia, rape, etc. The greater one loses control and the worse sins become when one allows themselves to lose control in the first place. When people do whatever they desires they are no longer “free” but become “slaves” to sin.

Authentic freedom, many philosophers call attention to, is being free “to do what is right.” However, due to the human problem or Original Sin and our tendency not to do what is objectively right, we need a quality “moral formation.” For example, a child will take the toy of another child as his own if he can get away with it. The parent must form the child to understand the concept of personal property. For without such moral formation, whether through parents or society, that child will grow up to become a thief. One’s social moral formation involves self, casual, and sexual interactions. In being properly morally formed one finds authentic freedom in being fully human, where we act according to how we were designed.

We were not designed to eat certain things that are poisonous for us, and thus we are not free to eat them. We were not made to murder people and thus we are not free to murder. We were not made to have sex with any or every person we please, and thus we are not free to do fornicate, rape, or commit incest, etc. We are to respect the design of our physical selves, our social selves, and our sexual selves. Still, some of us in this life are racked with various temptations, such as homosexual temptation, which is hard to understand when one has not had a good moral formation. Yet, some people are spiritually conflicted, desiring God but attached to sin, and the confusing voices of anti-God cultures do not help when they claim that certain sins are “okay.”
It is one thing to be tempted; the Church teaches us that that is not a sin. The sin comes when one knows something is evil and acts upon the temptation anyway. We were not told of Harvey Milk’s moral formation, but still, the film Milk is a bad rental choice as it condones sexual immorality and magnifies it by representing Harvey Milk as a martyr. He was not a martyr. Sadly, he was murdered.

The Problem of a “Secular Ethics”

(9/3/09 - My Catholic column for Newman University newspaper The Vantage)

Last week in bioethics class we were asked to read, summarize, and respond to the bioethical issue as to whether standard medical ethics apply in disaster conditions. The following is my abridged response informed by the Christian Faith.
In 2006 secular trained philosopher Mary Marshall sought to justify the option of various ethical conclusions in extreme situations, such as during the Hurricane Katrina incident concerning a doctor and two nurses in Louisiana charged with murder, with examples of paradigm cases as “seemingly impossible dilemmas”. First, of course, a philosopher of such justifying tendencies has to deny moral absolutes, as she does, claiming “Most of us in the worlds of bioethics and philosophy are wary of moral absolutes”, a claim of proportion I believe is quite the exaggeration.
To support the case of the Louisiana case Marshall proceeds to give accounts that she sarcastically assumes “even Solomonic wisdom couldn’t even resolve, because the options seemed morally bankrupt, or worse.” She is likely making a subtle allusion to the story of the two women claiming to be the mother of the same child in 1 Kings 3:16-28.
The fist case she presented was that of the William Styron story Sophie’s Choice, wherein a mother has to make the “painful or impossible” choice of “deciding which of one’s children to send to the gas chamber.” The second situation is that of a mother during the Sri Lankan tsunami “immersed in the deluge, clinging to her husband and child; and loosing the strength to hold fast to both of them, of having to let one go.” Third, she told of a school hostage situation where “parents with multiple captive children being allowed to remove only one” and then she asked “How do you decide which hand to release, which name to give?”
Marshall then tells of the Hurricane Katrina incident of those medical persons charged with manslaughter and the circumstances surrounding it. She then gives two final cases where a ship crewman throws 14 men off a sinking raft to save the rest, and then of a nurse (Szwajger) during the Holocaust who administered lethal doses of morphine to suffering and dying children about to be carried off to elsewhere to be killed. Marshall ends by illustrating her sense of “compassion” as a mother who “would rather that my child die the gentle death administered by Szwajger…than die a violent death at the hands of soldiers.” In conclusion she promotes that the Attorney General over the Katrina case “makes his findings, and as the case plays out, that compassion, not absolutism, is the order of the day.”
I was going to start my critique of her line of argument by focusing on the problem of a “Faithless Ethic,” but quickly realized the pluralistic problem of that, as there are many faiths. The problem orthodox Christians see in “secular ethics” is the lack of the deeper appreciation and wisdom provided by the principles and revelations of the Judeo-Christian faith. In fact, Solomonic wisdom could respond to every one of Marshall’s situations.
The mother confronted with the case of which child to send to the gas chamber could forego the choice all together and thereby likely face martyrdom – if she had faith in the Resurrection of the Just Dead.
The mother in the Sri Lankan incident would have to let her child go and offer him/her into the hands of God, as her primary duty is to her husband – granting she is faithful to her Marital Covenant.
The parents of the school children would have to cast lots to decide which child must be set free – putting the decision in the hands of God.
The sea crewman was completely unjustified – lacking virtue by fearing death and lacking faith of rescue (which, regardless, may never have come) wherein he chose to kill to “save.” Evil means cannot justify an apparent good.
The nurse who euthanized the children with morphine should have let the children be taken away – letting God judge the murderous soldier’s souls and not hers.
Marshall’s sense of “compassion” is what I would call a faithless and therefore, in ethical considerations, a false compassion. This is illustrated in her statement that she, “would rather that my child die the gentle death administered by Szwajger…than die a violent death at the hands of soldiers.” A Christian could point out that God the Father was willing to allow His Son to die a violent death at the hands of Roman soldiers. Ultimately, Christian faith and hope in the Resurrection of the Dead was the ultimate point and revelation of the Christ’s crucifixion, thus fueling the Christian ethical decision making. If we die in faith, or even for our children who are “sacrificed” for the sake of justice, we have hope in the reward of the Resurrection. We need not fear death! With such faith one has the freedom to allow the apparent worst. The theological virtues of faith, hope, and love and certain principles of human dignity can resolve all such “dilemmas.”
Yet, in a way, it is understandable that those not evangelized to the Judeo-Christian revelation would lack certain principles and appreciations, thus the problem of a “secular ethics.” They lack any firm foundation. Even if the secularist’s main ethical principle is based upon “human dignity,” as it presently appears to be, this is still a holdover from the Judeo-Christian view of humanity as dignified because it is “in the image and likeness of God.” As this principle is dissolving due to certain utilitarian ideas, where we are becoming mere objects or “utilities,” so dissolves our appreciation of ethics based on moral absolutes and we are all the more governed by the fear of death.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

My Conversion Talk (Transcript)

I tried upload the audio of my talk on my conversion from Seventh-day Adventism to the Catholic Church, but apparently blogger doesn't have that capability, so here's the Transcript version.

Seventh-day Adventist Becomes Catholic
Praying Made Me Catholic.
Scripture and Church History Keep Me Catholic

By Justin S. Steele

TRACK 1. (5.27)
Let us begin in praying the words our Lord gave us: In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Our Father, who art in heaven…

Greeting

Hello. My name is Justin Steele and I was asked to tell the story of my conversion from Seventh-day Adventism to the Catholic Church. I’ve titled my talk “Seventh-day Adventist Becomes Catholic”. I’ve also subtitled my talk “Praying Made Me Catholic: Scripture and Church History Keep Me Catholic” as answered prayer brought me into the Church for a spiritual conversion while the study of Scripture and Church history encapsulate the full story of my intellectual conversion.
I prefer to say that I converted to “the Church” rather than to “Catholic-ism” because, when we understand biblical and historical ecclesiology – that is, the theology of what the Church is – when we understand ecclesiology we realize that conversion is principally to an entity, not an -ism. Granted, there are clear principles and doctrines associated with converting to the Church classifying it under its own ism, but I prefer to focus more on what the Christian Church is – that is to say, as Saint Paul did in calling the Church is “the body of Christ”, and we, as Christians, are members of Christ’s mystical body, all joined together as one living entity. As well, the Church is “the Bride of Christ” or “the Bride of the Lamb” as the Book of Revelation describes it. This is saying nearly the same thing as Saint Paul when one understands the theology of marriage, where the two become one. The Church, as the Bride of Christ, becomes “the body of Christ” through real, marital, and covenantal union with our Lord and Savior in Holy Communion – His Real Presence in the Holy Eucharist, as the ancient Church continually taught.
Once this biblical and historical ecclesiology is established, as one body and one bride, it is important to note the history of the Catholic Church and those who have broken away from Her, such as through the Christological heresies throughout the first several hundred years, through the Eastern Schisms in the ninth, eleventh, and fifteenth centuries, and through the breaks of the Protestant Reformation in the sixteenth centuries, as well as those who’ve subsequently broke from them and one another ever since.
I point these out because it is through such divisions that the Church came to distinguish itself as “Catholic”, meaning “universal” or “of the whole” as referring to the universal teachings of the Apostles spread abroad throughout the whole Church. This catholicity was of supreme importance in the early Church as it distinguished the Church with Her apostolic teachings from heresies whose teachings were non-universal or “localized” in nature. Thus heresies were distinct as they were novel ideas not shared by all Christians living in all regions evangelized by the Apostles of Christ.
The reason I start my talk mentioning such issues is due to their overarching importance in my conversion to the “original” Church, whereby learning these ancient principles and the historical record I was able to come to appreciate the Catholic Church, not as the “whore of Babylon,” as the modern novel idea asserts and many sensationalist preachers would try to lead us to believe, but rather as the Bride of Christ and the Body of Christ – the original Church before there was ever such thing as a “denomination”.

My conversion story is based on two powerful realities as gifts that God gave humanity: the gift of prayer and the gift of reasoning.
The element of prayer within my conversion to the Catholic Church, as I have related in my book Praying Made Me Catholic, came by way of my seeking God’s guidance and His clear answers that led me directly into the stability of the Catholic Church through the RCIA program, thus enabling me to begin receiving the clear and ancient teaching about Jesus Christ, about His Church, and about the sacraments of His “New Covenant”.
The element of reasoning within my conversion came by way of studying and comparing Protestant and Catholic apologetics and theologies for their respective rationales of beliefs, particularly in the areas of Scripture and Church history. Catholic apologetics is, if I may say, profoundly deeper, biblical, and importantly historical. It is one thing to claim to be “biblical” in one’s interpretation of Christianity, but it is more complete to bear a historical biblical interpretation, or rather the historical understanding of the Christian faith. For upon discovering the ancient Christian Faith as expounded upon by the Apostolic and Early Church Fathers, one moves from “interpretations” to the “classical understanding” of the Christian faith.

Since my conversion came about through as series of answered prayers that led me deeper into my understanding and appreciation of such matters, therefore, in the structuring of this talk I will begin with a brief introduction to my faith formation as a youth followed by sections paraphrasing a prayer that led me closer in my relationship with Jesus Christ.
I close the talk with how, theologically as a Seventh-day Adventist, I was finally able to resolve Seventh-day Adventism and fully embrace the ancient Catholic Church – the Bride of Christ in union with the Body of Christ.

TRACK 2. (4.16)
A Foundation of Faith

Unlike the majority of Christians growing up in the eighties and nineties, I was raised with several novel ideas about the Christian faith. First, I was taught that “According to the Bible the day of worship is Saturday, not Sunday as others believe.” Our family was taught that the “Catholic Church” had supposedly “changed” this detail, and in doing so led billions of souls into religious error.
Secondly, I was taught that God had instructed us that we were not to eat certain “unclean” foods, in particular all pork products and certain seafood. Although my father preferred to say we were “non-denominational Christians”, technically, because of our beliefs, we were theologically “Seventh-day Adventists.”

On the other hand, like thirty percent of Christians, I was also raised with a few less novel ideas about the Christian faith. First, all I needed was the Bible to know God and Jesus Christ: Though I wasn’t taught it as a doctrine, in all practicality this is the “Scripture Alone” idea viewing the Bible as being sufficient for one’s faith knowledge. As youth my mother taught my brother and me the Bible stories from Adam and Eve to Jesus Christ and the Apostles.
Secondly, I was told that though I should go to church, it wasn’t necessary, and if I believed in God, was sorry for my sins before God, and did my best in life I would go to heaven. This is essentially the “Faith Alone” idea, wherein faith was life’s motivating force, and nothing I did or participated in, such as sacraments, had any bearing on my relationship with the Lord. Concerning morality, I was raised on the standards of the Ten Commandments, but they were mere guides, where if broken I could ask God’s forgiveness on the spot. These Scripture Alone and Faith Alone beliefs meant that I was also technically a “Protestant”.
In forming my appropriate perception of God and the moral life my parents helped me to distinguish between good and evil. Evil was all around us, but there was still good in people, as expressed in their capacity to love. God was the source of good. Satan was the initial source and instigator of evil, through a rebellion against that which is good. In other words, evil and sin are not natural to the created order, but willful distortions, lies, about the good. Thus, because of the evil that Satan brought into the world, and that humanity has also taken upon itself and continues to perpetuate, there was and is ultimately a need for a Savior from sin, who eventually came in Jesus Christ.
We were also taught to pray. God was always there for us and all we had to do was talk to him. As your typical Protestants we were not used to traditional recited prayers. Ours prayers were more extemporaneous if we felt it necessary to pray. However, my mother had taught us that is was always good to at least pray at night. And if we didn’t know what to pray, the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep prayer was good as it covered the major bases. She had also taught us the Our Father.
Concerning my knowledge of the various Christian groups growing up, I knew there were Lutherans, which was my mother’s denominational background, as well as Seventh-day Adventists, as my father’s denominational background. He had attended a Seventh-day Adventist elementary academy as a child, whereby he was able to pass his religious formation on to me. I once had a conversation with a Seventh-day Adventist family member who shared his experiences of several denominations. “Pentecostals are the ‘holy rollers’. Mormons believe that one day they’ll be gods of their own planets.” He ended by explicitly saying, “Whatever you do, don’t become Catholic. Catholics worship Mary.”
In spite of my good Christian upbringing and moral education it was difficult to fight peer pressure, even though my father had explicitly told me, “Don’t let others lead you around. Be your own man.” Yet, as a teen looking to “fit in”, his advice went unheeded. The vices of the seventies of “sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll” had slightly altered to “sex, drugs, and gangsta rap”, and I became another victim of the nineties pop-culture. By the time I graduated high school in 1997 I had disregarded God all together and hadn’t prayed in years. I thought I wanted to live the “Thug Life” of the “gangsta” rappers.

TRACK 3. (3.48)
Prayer One: “God Help Me!”

I found a problem when “raised to know better” and yet did the opposite. It weighed down upon my conscience and naturally led to an inner-conflict. After living the “Thug Life” for just two years I was extremely conflicted, not to mention paranoid due to the partaking of certain illegal substances. I had done things that, if my family had found out, I couldn’t bear to live with the knowledge. The paranoia had gotten so bad, in fact, that I was becoming uncomfortable even around my loved ones. So I fled the life I was living in Marshfield, Wisconsin to be with my girlfriend who had moved to Madison. I thought I could get away from it all. I got a job as a logistics manager at a candy plant and tried to forget the past.
Upon becoming aware that the extreme paranoia followed me pushed me over the edge and led me to begin considering suicide. I began to plan it out. My girlfriend and I were planning a trip back to Marshfield to visit our families and I had a hunting rifle. It scared me that such thoughts were creeping into my mind. My parents had taught me that “Suicide is the unforgivable sin. If you murder yourself there is no forgiveness from God after death.” Oh yeah, “God!” I remembered God at such a critical state in life causing me to cry out to Him, and I’ll never forget it, as I was on my drive into work one morning. “God help me!” I cried out. I didn’t want to kill myself, but the thoughts of my sins were now ruling my mind.
It happened that same weekend we made plans to go to Marshfield. As my girlfriend drove I silently sat starring out the passenger window considering the thoughts of the previous days when in a split-second my sight went black and I saw the flashes of three images.
The first image was that of three angels falling backwards through blackness, covering their faces with their arms. Instantly, my heart was pierced as I realized that it was my sins that caused my condition. It caused me to recall the fall of Satan, which in turn instigated the fall of Man, as my mother had taught me growing up.
The second image that flashed in my sight was that of Jesus Christ hanging on the cross in the near distance. At that moment I was internally convicted that I had a way out of my life of sin, recalling His great sacrifice for the sin of the world. I began to weep bitterly with remorse as I came to the personal appreciation that my sins were, in part, a cause for our precious Lord’s sacrificial death.
The final image was a headshot of me, with a great smile, wearing the black shirt and white collar piece of a priest. Yet, the word “witness” was impressed upon my mind, and so I knew I had a purpose after a life of sin – to witness to the saving love of Jesus Christ. At that moment my tears of remorse oddly mixed with tears of joy. And yet it happened in a split second.
After I began bawling my girlfriend pulled the car over to ask me what was wrong. After I was eventually able to calm down I shared with her what I had just seen. Nothing was wrong with me. On the contrary, everything was now right, as I was blessed with an appreciation of the connections of sin, salvation, and sanctification.
The grace of such an experience of God turned my life upside down as it caused several changes within me.
First, it totally dissolved my suicidal tendencies, now that I understood that my problem was my own sin, that my way out of my sin was salvation in Christ, and that in Christ I had a purpose in life – as a witness, which I would later realize was my sanctification.
Secondly, I immediately returned to the Scriptures with zeal to learn more about the Christ of my youth.
Third, my prayer life was awakened remarkably as the experience gave me a profound awareness of God’s omnipresence. With this recognition of God’s presence conversational prayer became easy for me. Soon after my initial experience it would be this growing in my prayer life with Jesus Christ that would ultimately lead me into the Catholic Church.

TRACK 4. (1.42)
Prayer Two: “Lord, Reveal to Me My Errors.”

My family had listened to Christian radio from time to time when I was growing up. Our favorite preacher was Dr. Chuck Swindoll.
Having had my heart set ablaze by the Holy Spirit due to the experience of God’s freeing grace, I also sought other biblical instruction through the preachers and teachers on WNWC Christian radio in Madison. I began devoutly listening to and studying the materials of such men as Dr. Swindoll, Dr. Jeremiah, Dr. Stanley, Dr. Zacharias, Dr. Dobson and others. On my drives into work, on my drives home, and during many evenings I became more immersed in their Protestant interpretations of Scripture.
The next significant prayer arose while listening to Christian radio full-time. When listening to the program “Revive Our Hearts” the host, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, called her listeners to pray, and I paraphrase, “Lord, reveal to me all the things I’ve believed to be true that are actually false.” I did so, not realizing the effects it would bring to bear upon my life when the prayer was answered. Conflict was one of those effects that came involving me and certain family members, not to mention thirty percent of Christendom – Protestantism. But the answer to this prayer would have to wait until after the next major prayer was answered.
The conflict came when I began becoming intellectually aware that there were extreme differences between various Christian groups, not all agreeing with one another even on fundamental Christian issues. As I listened to the Bible teachers they spoke of various churches and encouraged and left it up to each Christian to make sure their church was “Bible-based.” The conflict became centered upon whose interpretations were closer to what the Bible taught.

TRACK 5. (4.33)
Prayer Three: “Lord, Just Lead Me!”

After consuming the New Testament over the next few months my mind felt much freer. It felt as though Christ had spoken to me when He told His Apostles, “Now you are clean through the word which I have spoken to you.” I would feel a joy building up inside me by the insights I was learning. Yet, there was still something lacking; something I felt as though I was missing.
One afternoon while in the warehouse at work, realizing this sense of lacking, I stopped and prayed, “Lord, I don’t know where to go from here, just lead me.”
That very afternoon I called my girlfriend on my break and she had told me that she had decided to call the Director of Religious Education of her church to ask about baptism classes for me. Of course she knew of my experience, as she was there when it happened, and that I was reading my Bible daily. She also knew that I had not been baptized, as my father left that to me when I was “ready”. Yet, she didn’t know of the prayer I had just made at work!
So when she said to me, “I called St. Bernard’s parish and spoke with Geri, the DRE. We thought you might be interested in the RCIA class for baptism” I was shocked. I instantly recognized that the Holy Spirit had just used her to answer my prayer. It was obvious as it was the call to Baptism! I recalled the preaching of the Apostle Peter in Acts 2:38: “Repent…be baptized…for the forgiveness of your sins…receive the gift of the Holy Spirit”.
Before, I didn’t know where to go for Baptism, thinking of myself as “non-denominational” although holding a Seventh-day Adventist theology. And now, when I asked God to “lead me,” it was for Baptism. But in the “Catholic” Church? That was the only thing I thought odd. For my girlfriend had been raised Catholic, and though she had invited me to go to Mass with her every once in a while, her faith had never come up in our conversations. Besides, other than what I was taught as a youth about Catholics, I never cared for the Catholic service anyhow, as I would complain about all the “up and down, up and down” that I didn’t understand. Yet, now that I was actively “seeking, asking, and knocking,” as Christ encourage, now was her moment to be an instrument of the Holy Spirit.
I met with Geri Nehls and told her of my story to that point. The first insight she taught me was that the word “catholic” means “universal” or “of the whole” concerning the Christian church and illustrated it as an “umbrella term” referring to the whole Christian Church throughout the world. “We are called ‘Roman’ Catholics,” she explained, “as we practice the ‘Roman Rite’ of the Mass. But then there are several other ‘rites’ within the Catholic Church.” From there Geri left it up to me if I wanted to join RCIA to learn more about the Catholic Church. I did indeed. My initial experience of God took place in the late spring of 2000 and by that fall I was in the RCIA classes! Later I learned the significance of that year as a “Jubilee” year. According to the Book of Leviticus, 25:10, a Jubilee year was to be a time of freedom; a time of salvation.
While in the RCIA classes the hardest thing for me to hear at first was Catholics referring to the pope as “the Holy Father”. To my yet uneducated mind that sounded surely blasphemous. I recall thinking, “God the Father is our only Holy Father! What are they doing calling a man ‘holy’?”
However, after much more study of Scripture I learned that both Jews and Christians are called to be a “holy people” and a “holy nation” before God (see Ex 19:6; Deut 28:9; 1 Peter 2:29).
Also, the angels in heaven are called “holy” (see Mark 8:38; Luke 9:26; Rev 14:10). Furthermore, the Apostles of Christ are called “holy” (see Eph 3:5).
I came to appreciate the reason sinful creatures like humans can be called holy is due to God’s grace making them so. The biblical logic of being able to call the pope a “Holy Father” follows, the Apostle Peter was the first pope as history reveals (regardless that the title wasn’t used yet), and it was his apostolic office to be a spiritual “father figure” over the Christian communities (see 1 Cor 4:15). So, since Saint Peter was called “holy” by Saint Paul in Ephesians 3:5, then the popes who follow Saint Peter’s fatherly office can certainly be called “holy fathers” due to their office within the Christian Church.
Ultimately, I knew I was led into RCIA through answered prayer. So I continued to listen and learn the Catholic reasoning from Scripture and history and journeyed on toward Baptism.

TRACK 6. (12.18)
Prayer Four: “Lord, Help Me with this Conflict.”

Several months before my Baptism certain Seventh-day Adventist family members came to visit me. They heard I had begun taking my Christian faith seriously and was preparing for Baptism, yet in the Catholic Church, which concerned them. They gave me a copy of Ellen G. White’s book The Triumph of God’s Love, or more commonly titled as her famous work The Great Controversy, and a series of Scripture studies on the doctrines of Seventh-day Adventism. The book was a so-called history of Christianity basically demonizing the Catholic Church as the “Great Apostasy” and glorifying the Protestant reformers as “lights in the darkness.” The Scripture study attempted to “prove” that from Rome would come the “antichrist”, the one that would “think to change times and laws”, as mentioned in Daniel 7:25, like the Saturday Sabbath to Sunday. Their accusation was that this was fulfilled in the papacy that supposedly changed the Christian day of worship from the Saturday Sabbath to Sunday. I became shocked and concerned by what I was now learning.
The study was very compelling and convincing, using Scripture to supposedly “prove” its arguments. It caused me to wonder why God would have clearly led me into the Catholic Church if it was supposed to be the “instrument of the devil”, as Ellen G. White had suggested. This was a serious conflict of interests. I began having thoughts of personal grandeur. I shared with a devout Assemblies of God co-worker, Tim, who I had become good friends with that, “Maybe God has led me into the Catholic Church to help expose it.”
Still, I recognized the great conflict that I was now faced with. What was I to do? The only thing I could at the time. I continued through the RCIA classes while beginning to practice Seventh-day Adventism again due to new “convictions”. Yet, after several months of living this dual life I began experiencing confusion concerning this obvious contradiction. So I did what I had learned was the best thing to do. I took it to prayer. One evening at bedtime prayer I asked the Lord to “Help me understand the conflict” I was experiencing.
That very night I had a disturbing dream. It began with me, staring down a long arched corridor, with the figure of a man coming toward me. As he drew nearer a great emanation of evil surrounded him, yet he was dressed in religious garments with his head and face cloaked. I stood frozen and allowed him to pass by me. As I turned to watch him, he entered into the room I was in. With me in the room was a long table, at the head of which sat facing me was a bulky man wearing a king’s garments and crown, leaning forward on his sword. Beside him sat a woman dressed as a queen. Beside her were several other people to whom I paid no attention. Instead, I watched the being open a door on the opposite side of the room and entered temporarily out of sight. The only knowledge I had during the whole dream was, apart from what I saw, that behind that door was my “covenant”. Just as soon as the being had entered into the room behind the door it came back out, yet now in an invisible form. Immediately, it swooshed passed me, over to the king and queen, slit their throats, and fled back down the corridor as a wind. The dream ended abruptly there.

I was very disturbed as I awoke that morning, sensing that the dream was related to my prayer the evening before. Plus, though I had heard the term growing up by family as related to marriages, I didn’t really know what a “covenant” was.
I shared this dream with my work-friend Tim. He didn’t know what to say but offered me a passage of Scripture to consider – Joel 2:28 – concerning the Holy Spirit’s use of visions and dreams. After reading it I was encouraged and, concerned about being deceived, I continued to contemplate my experiences and pray for the Lord’s guidance.
During the Easter Vigil of April 14, 2001 I was baptized, confirmed, and received my first Holy Communion at Saint Bernard’s parish from Msgr. Michael Hippee.
It was not long after my Baptism, however, when randomly scanning the AM dial of my car radio I discovered EWTN Catholic radio. Now I was about to begin my intellectual advent, my mystagogue into the theology and life of the ancient Christian faith.
On EWTN I discovered programs like Catholic Answers Live and The Journey Home, both of which clarified why there are literally thousands of different denominations and why they have different beliefs. Most importantly, the scholars and theologians on such programs introduced me to scholarly accounts of Church history and the historical interpretation of Scripture. In other words, I discovered the Church Fathers and the Early Christian understanding of Scripture. As I mentioned before, I was raised believing that I was a “non-denominational” Christian, but it was through these apologetic programs that I discovered that I was still technically a “Protestant”, and what I previously described as “Christian radio” was technically “Evangelical Protestant radio”.
It was amazing to learn about the key figures of the Protestant Reformation, like Martin Luther, King Henry VIII, John Calvin, Ulrich Zwingli and others, and how their rebellions against Catholic Church, albeit during a tumultuous time, had ultimately led to the tens of thousands of “Protestant denominations” we have today.
This is in contrast to recognizing that the Catholic Church is technically not a “denomination” as it is historically the original whole church. Catholic apologists as biblical scholars expressed Church history in a different way than Ellen White. They showed where Christ said, in Matthew 16:18, that He would build the Church expressly on a significant role for the Apostle Peter by changing His name to Rock and promising that “the gates of Hades will not overcome it,” which is to say His Church will not be overcome by corruption and death. Then, Our Lord gives Peter the “keys of the kingdom” with the authority that “whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven,” words of doctrinal and disciplinary authority.
Later, in Matthew 18:18 our Lord gives all the Apostles, the first authoritative leaders and teachers, the collective power to “bind and loose.”
In the end of Matthew’s gospel Christ commissions the Apostles, the authorities of His Church, to “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”
Here the Gospel of Matthew, what some biblical scholars call the Gospel of the Church, lays out an authoritative and perpetual Church, built by Christ Himself.
Yet, Catholic apologists go on further to also point out where Christ promised, in John 16:13, that the Holy Spirit would guide His Church into “all truth.”
In Acts, chapter 15, where the Council of Jerusalem is called to discuss the controversy of the Judaizers who were trying to make the Gentile converts first become Jewish through circumcision and observance to the Mosaic Law, the story illustrates the Apostles’ first act of “binding and loosing,” loosing the Church from circumcision and observance of the Mosaic Law, while binding the Church to prohibitions connected to idolatry, fornication, and blood rituals.
Now, if you take Christ’s establishment of the Apostles as the foundation of the Church, as Saint Paul called them, with His promises of its perpetual nature and its being guiding by the Holy Spirit, it’s no wonder why Saint Paul, in First Timothy 3:15 calls the Church “the pillar and foundation of the truth.” Notice that Paul doesn’t tell Timothy that the Scriptures are the “pillar and foundation of truth,” but that, as inspired by God, they are “useful for teaching, for refutation, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” Why is it that the Church is the “pillar and foundation of truth” and the Scriptures are a useful tool? Because the Scriptures, inspired by the Holy Spirit, need an interpreter, also inspired by the Holy Spirit, which is what the Church is officially through its legitimate teachers. The teachers of the Church, principally the Apostles who passed their teaching on to authorized bishops, were commissioned with this special role within the Church.
Yet, I came to also recognize that within this teaching role of the Apostles and bishops was more foundationally their “ministry of reconciliation” as Saint Paul calls it in 2 Corinthians 5:18. This reconciliation of humanity to God comes by Christ’s sharing with them His authority to forgive sins, as it makes clear in the Gospel of John 20:22-23, stating that after Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles, he said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” Of course, Protestants have re-interpreted this forgiving of sins as being different from confession. However, within the words of the passage oral confession is implied since a judgment call is necessary on the part of the Apostles or their successors to be able to discern whether to forgive or not to forgive the sin, discerning the repentance of the sinner.
From here Catholic apologists move beyond being biblical scholars and become historians, pointing out the biblical references in the Book of Acts and in the writings of Saint Paul making reference to bishops, presbyters or priests, and deacons, or in modern literal translations of the Bible as overseers, elders, and deacons, and how these men who were in close ties with the Apostles and called upon to perpetuate the Church throughout the centuries. In other words, they were to be the co-workers with the Apostles in making disciples of all nations, as the Apostles clearly could not fulfill the Great Commission in their own lifetimes.

A good Catholic Scripture study on the institution of the role and authority of the Apostles, then moving into an unbiased historical study of the writings Apostolic Fathers and Early Church Fathers would be a tremendous aid in helping anyone discover the original understanding of this ecclesiology or “what the Church is.”
Over the centuries there have be many debates within the Church over the understanding of several core tenants of the Faith, such as those concerning the person and nature of Jesus Christ. These are referred to as the Christological debates of the first several centuries. It has been through the official mode of Church Council, in the model of the Council of Jerusalem, with the gathering of the bishop bearing their role of teaching authority in the Church, that such debates have been authoritatively and therefore officially resolved.
Now, however, within Protestantism, where there is no central authority of the bishop to teach and safeguard the historical Faith, many Christians are left to wander within the various interpretations of Protestantism, or remain complacent in their family denominations.
Upon studying the writings of the Apostolic Fathers, for example, one finds these men, taught by the Apostles, clarifying such matters as the central role of the bishop, or overseer. Ignatius of Antioch, a disciple of the Apostle John, in his famous Letter to the Smyrnaeans, has the most ancient account of describing the Christian Church as being “catholic” or “universal” in nature. Ignatius says,

Let no man do anything connected with the Church without the bishop. Let that be deemed a proper Eucharist, which is either by the bishop, or by one to whom he has entrusted it. Wherever the bishop shall appear, there let the multitude also be; even as, wherever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church.

Let me restate that another way. Here, you have a disciple of the Apostle John, trusted and chosen to lead one of the major Christian cities evangelized by the Apostles, describing the whole Christian Church as the Catholic Church, which he defines by the bishop, the focal point of the Christian communities. What is just as striking is that Ignatius’ discussion of the role of bishop is in the context of sharing the Eucharist – what Saint Paul referred to as the reason why Christians gather together in the first place!
In all we see that union with the Church is through union with the bishop, who then offers to the faithful the Holy Eucharist, putting Christians collectively in union with Jesus Christ and thus making them the Body of Christ.

TRACK 7. (8:06)

In studying and contrasting both the Catholic account of the Christian Faith and the various Protestant interpretations of the Christian Faith, it was also both amazing and alarming to discover how one idea – Scripture Alone as the sole source of authority over a Christian’s beliefs, as opposed to an authoritative Church that teaches doctrinal belief based upon Scripture and the Apostolic or Sacred Tradition – that this one idea has caused the mass of Christian divisions over the last five-hundred years. Why the divisions? Two reasons. First, the Protestant leaders began breaking away from the teaching authority of the Church as handed on from the Apostles to the bishops. So, as I just mentioned, there was no longer a central authority among the Protestants to bring them together on matters of faith. Secondly, thinking they could re-organize the Church, or rather their new denomination, according to their private interpretations of Scripture, they naturally had various and conflicting interpretations of Scripture.
Catholic apologists point out that the fallacy of the Scripture Alone idea is that the Scriptures are not really the “final authority”, but the ones who read them are, since Scripture cannot completely self-interpret. Sure, some things are clearer than others, but those things that are not so clear, and which the cultural and the implied contexts are harder to uncover, yet also happens to be an essential passage, they need something more to understand them. This context missing from Protestant theology is most generally called Sacred Tradition. The reality of this Sacred Tradition, also known as the Apostolic Tradition of the Apostles, is what the first Christians believed and how they worshipped with the faith they were given. Sacred Tradition is otherwise known as the Deposit of Faith – everything given to the Church by Christ and the Apostles in teaching and practice.
Much of the teachings were written down in scriptural form as the New Testament, but the New Testament wasn’t intended to be a sort of catechism for the Christian faith, as its authors were not aware that over three hundred years later all their writings would be collected together as one book. In fact, the author’s of the New Testament were writing to specific communities with specific historical circumstances. In other words, even here, the “Scripture Alone” idea fails for the first four hundred years of the Christian era when there was no New Testament.
Moreover, concerning the fallacy of being able to rely upon the Scriptures alone, it was recognized early on in the Early Church that it was the duty of the Magisterium (the teaching office of the pope and bishops, in the ordinary model of Church Council as illustrated in Acts 15 with Peter and the rest of the Apostles) that they were to use Scripture and the Sacred Tradition to clarify Christian doctrine. When studying the historical development of Church teachings one finds that there has never been anything “new” or “changed” as far as doctrine goes, as some accuse the Catholic Church, but rather doctrines have been better clarified or elaborated upon. Only spiritual disciplines have changed – not doctrines – a matter which often confuses Protestants. For example, all those doctrines which Protestants accuse the Catholic Church of later “inventing,” a knowledgeable Catholic can open the Bible and show their biblical roots.
The Catholic apologists also discussed numerous misconceptions that Protestants have about Catholics – like “worshiping Mary” – and about the Catholic Church itself – like starting in the fourth century. In all, the discovery of Catholic radio and Catholic apologetics was the answer to the prayer issued by Mrs. DeMoss to reveal to me my errors. Thank you Nancy Leigh DeMoss! Though I had just a few misconceptions about Catholics and the Catholic Church, I soon discovered that there are literally dozens of which Catholic apologists have to clarify daily.

Here, for the first time, I objectively began to study the various arguments of Catholics and Protestants. Yet, when it came down to it, the Catholic apologetic overpowered the Protestant apologetic with a freeing grace and an historical authority established by Christ.
Around the same time the Mangehra family, who had gone through the RCIA class with me, had randomly thought to lend me a tape set called “Answering Common Objections” by Dr. Scott Hahn, a minister convert of the mid-eighties who has become a famous biblical scholar over the last twenty years. Within his educational series I had discovered the meaning of my disturbing dream. Dr. Hahn discussed the role of the Seven Sacraments as the ancient signs of the New “Covenant”, the first of which is Baptism!
With other insights I had been picking up from studying Scripture and historical theology I discovered that the dream was packed with symbolic imagery I was previously unaware of. The being that emanated evil, was cloaked in religious garments, and that passed by me represented my allowance of heresy to enter my life after the Lord had explicitly led me into His Church by answered prayer. Historically, this made sense, since Seventh-day Adventism is novel in its ideas, only about 150 years old, while the Catholic Church and Catholic doctrine are nearly 2,000 years old. The door on the other side of the room behind which was my “covenant” was my upcoming Baptism. The evil being was able to “steal it” from me in that Satan was trying to lead me astray into heresy – away from the ancient Sacraments of the New Covenant. The being became “invisible” because it was an intellectual issue. The King sitting at the head of the table was Christ, the head of the Church and the Author of the New Covenant. He was murdered because I began living according to the Old Covenant which He had fulfilled, rather than by His New Covenant. Classically, “the Queen” represents the Church, the Bride of Christ, as she sat beside the King. So also, in the same sense, The Church was murdered as I had begun intellectually walking away from Her. The “others” were the authorities of The Church to whom “I paid no attention”. The evil being left the room after murdering Christ and The Church “as a wind” also represented the heretical nature of my conflict, recalling Saint Paul’s words that those who are united in Christ are no longer “carried about by every wind of doctrine”. It is the authority of The Church that stabilizes and therefore unifies Christians in a firm doctrinal faith, whereas private interpretations of the Scriptures, like those of William Miller (architect of “Adventism”) and Joseph Bates (co-founder and advocate of the Seventh-day Sabbath issue within Seventh-day Adventism), are of the “winds” of “interpretation”.
As I went on to study Catholic theology, the Catholic Church greatly strengthens my faith in Jesus Christ as the Son of God and continues to encourage me in following Him as Lord and Savior. For it was the Catholic Church that clarified the doctrine of the Holy Trinity before there was even a canonical “New Testament.” In fact, some of the early Seventh-day Adventists, like James White, denied the doctrine of the Trinity.
When God draws converts into a deeper relationship with Christ by revealing to them His “Original” Church, we discover that the main reason He does this is to put His authority over us. For as the Church is the Bride of Christ, She is also a loving Mother to every new Christian in every generation, always drawing them toward Her divine Spouse, Jesus Christ. As Protestants, whatever our denomination, we were the authority over our lives because we would interpret the Scriptures according to our limited and biased intellects. Yet, those of us who truly seek to make Christ our Lord relinquish our control and submit to His authority in The Church that He explicitly told us He would “build,” as the Gospel of Matthew 16:18 says, since He is the “head of the church,” as Saint Paul said in Ephesians 5:23. And as The Church – His disciples – we comprise his “one body” (see Rom 12:5; 1 Cor 12:27; Col 1:24). Christians are mystically joined to Christ in the “covenant” marriage of the Church. To leave the historical Church is to divorce Christ.

TRACK 8 (6.49)
I’d Like to Make a Special Note on the Religious Experiences of Christians

It is clear to me that such experiences as I have described – a freeing vision, a symbolic dream, and immediately answered prayers – are not common to many Christians, and that such experiences may even be deceptive or misinterpreted, as Scripture warns of false prophets, and some experiences can be of a psychological origin. The help of an official Spiritual Director, often a trained priest, is highly recommended. Also, by no means do I consider myself to be any sort of special “prophet”.
All Christians are prophets, meaning teachers, when they teach orthodox Christianity. Yet, I find it ironic that I come from a denominational background co-founded by a woman who claimed to reportedly have had over 2,000 visions. That would make her the greatest of all prophets! Now, after having studied the foundations of the Seventh-day Adventist denomination and the influences that William Miller, Hiram Edson, and Joseph Bates had on a group of New Englanders, I personally believe that Ellen White was one of those “false prophets” Christ and His Apostles had warned us of in her attempt to justify all these men’s interpretations. This leads me to a brief consideration of the foundations of Seventh-day Adventism.

Resolving Seventh-day Adventism

First of all, as a Protestant, Ellen White, the greatest influence in the founding and development of Seventh-day Adventism, was removed from the apostolic body of teaching of the Church, so her theology was biased in the first place. The test of orthodoxy in the ancient Church was that of union with the Apostles and their teaching. Thus First John 2:19 states,

They went out from us, but they were really not of our number; if they had been, they would have remained with us.

As a Protestant, broken away from the historical Church, Ellen White had been highly influenced by the anti-Catholic and separatist rhetoric of the Protestant Reformation which sought to justify their divisions from the Church. Yet, as we see in the writings of Saint Paul, division is a serious sin, and so there was an element of spiritual warfare going on during the Protestant Reformation and every subsequent division leading to the formation of the Seventh-day Adventist denomination, as well as within those around them.
A strong program within the Reformation rhetoric was to demonize the official authority of the Church centered in the papacy as the “antichrist.” To undermine the papacy, and the hierarchy in general, left Christians answerable to no one but their own consciences. Thus, with the Scriptures the elevation of the conscience, albeit necessary in due proportion to one’s faith, was now being exaggerated as the only element one could trust. Yet, Christ said we could trust His Church as it was guided by the Holy Spirit.
Individuals are sinners seeking salvation, not to mention the fact that their consciences can be malformed and biased. The Church, on the other hand, as a whole, is Christ’s instrument of salvation as it is both the perpetual Teacher of the Faith that carries out the Great Commission, and the collective of all saved souls.
Many of the later Protestant preachers became even more anti-Catholic than the original “Reformers.” This anti-Catholic legacy, referring to the papacy as the antichrist, was passed on to the founders of the Seventh-day Adventist church. Many Protestants sought to substantiate their claims against the Catholic Church by seeking to show how biblical prophecy and Church history supposedly reveal the Roman Church was the fulfillment of the beast of the books of Daniel and Revelation. Thus it was later Protestants who began falsely equating pagan Rome with Christian Rome. Thus you have sensationalist books like Ellen White’s The Great Controversy, attempting to demonize the Catholic Church, such as through putting ill-intentions into the minds of her characters.
The first “beast” of Revelation 13 classically represents pagan Rome and its emperors who “spoke blasphemies” by applying to themselves titles of divinity. Some required worship from their subjects. One of these emperors was Caesar Nero, who not only had Saints Peter and Paul put to death, but he legendarily “had the wound of the sword and has come to life,” as Revelation says, as Nero died from a self-inflicted stab wound to the throat. A popular legend later suggested that his equally evil successor Domitian, who reigned during the time Revelation was written, was Nero who had come back to life. The “seven kings” representing “fullness,” likely refers to all of emperors. Caesar Nero is also classically understood as this beast because his Greek name in Hebrew adds up to the infamous number 666.
On top of that, any thoughtful Protestant devoted to the words of the New Testament and semi-familiar with the Catholic Church can easily discern the sheer foolishness of calling the papacy the antichrist. Unfortunately, most Protestants have never been given an accurate portrayal of the Catholic Church and its history and doctrine.
First of all, in First John 2:8, Saint John, the only one to use the term, says that “many antichrists have appeared”. Now historically, most Protestants claim the papacy began hundreds of years later than the time of John, so here the papacy and the antichrists could not be connected according to Protestant notions of Church history.
Secondly, in chapter 2, verse 22, John describes an antichrist as “whoever denies Jesus is the Christ. Whoever denies the Father and the Son, this is the antichrist”. Later in chapter 4, verse 3, John says that “every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus does not belong God. This is the spirit of the antichrist”. Now, with even a little familiarity with the historical teachings of the popes, we know that not one pope has ever denied that Jesus was the Christ, or denied the Father and the Son. In fact, quite the contrary is so. The history of Church Councils reveals the popes as the main defenders of Trinitarian theology! On top of that, the popes have always promoted the greatest devotions to Christ. Even devotion to Mary is a devotion to Christ, as it was Christ on the cross who gave the Church His own mother as ours, and she leads us into a deeper relationship with Her Son. Thus, to call the papacy the antichrist is to do a great injustice to what John described as an antichrist. It is to distort the Scriptures and completely ignore historical Christian teaching.

TRACK 9. (7.18)

Furthermore, the major Seventh-day Adventist doctrines on the Sabbath and dietary laws contradict principles of the New Covenant as the Sabbath and dietary laws are celebratory and sacrificial matters of the Old Covenant fulfilled in the person of Christ. The Council of Jerusalem was called principally to confront the heresy of the Judaizers who taught that Christians had to first become Jewish through circumcision, diet, and ceremonial observance. Yet, at the Council of Jerusalem recorded in Acts 15:28-29, the final verdict was:

“It is the decision of the Holy Spirit and of us not to place on you any burden beyond these necessities, namely, to abstain from meat sacrificed to idols, and from unlawful marriage.”

In Saint Paul’s letter to the Colossians he is in part dealing with the influence of the Judaizers. Thus in 2:16 he warns the Christians,

“Let no one, then, pass judgment on you in matters of food and drink or with regard to a festival or new moon or sabbath.”

In the theology of Christ as the fulfillment of the Old Covenant we have, for example, Jesus Christ proclaiming Himself as the “Lord of the Sabbath,” which is to say the Lord of Rest. Christ fulfilled the Sabbath in His life and ministry by giving eternal rest to the faithful who struggle through the battles of this life and ultimately find rest in Him. By rising on the Sunday, the first day of the week, the Early Church Fathers understood this to signify the beginning of the “new creation” that Saint Paul spoke of, as well as an “eighth day” as though finally entering into that eternal rest in Christ.
Here are a few quotes from the writings of the Early Church Fathers, those men who were taught by the Apostles and became their teaching successors. The Didache, which scholars tell us was written in the late half of the first century, probably before the Book of Revelation, states the Christian practice of Sunday, or the Lord’s Day.

But every Lord's day gather yourselves together, and break bread, and give thanksgiving after having confessed your transgressions, that your sacrifice may be pure.

These words from the Didache reflect the core of what the Church’s Mass has always been about: gathering to worship God, breaking bread in thanksgiving – which in Greek is Eucharistia – and confessing our sins before God. Even confession to a priest is confession before God, as the priest is Christ’s missionary representative of the Great Commission.
Next the Letter of Barnabas, which scholars tell us was also written in the late first century, connects the fulfillment of the Jewish Sabbath to the beginning of the another world – the new creation – on the “eighth day”:

[God] says to [Israel], “Your new moons and your Sabbath I cannot endure.” (which is a quote of Isaiah 1:13) The author of the letter of Barnabas goes on to say, “You perceive how He speaks: Your present Sabbaths are not acceptable to Me, but that is which I have made, when, giving rest to all things, I shall make a beginning of the eighth day, that is, a beginning of another world. Wherefore, also, we keep the eighth day with joyfulness, the day also on which Jesus rose again from the dead.

In his Letter to the Magnesians, which scholars tell us was written about 110 A.D. right before his martyrdom, Ignatius of Antioch, the most famous Apostolic Father, explicitly tells us that Christians have moved beyond the Sabbath into the Lord’s Day. He says,

[T]hose who were brought up in the ancient order of things have come to the possession of a new hope, no longer observing the Sabbath, but living in the observance of the Lord’s Day, on which also our life has sprung up again by Him and by His death

Such testimony as to the Christian practice within the Apostolic age of the Church we discover that the Catholic Church had not changed the Sabbath. Christ and His Apostles did. The Church merely taught the change, or rather, the fulfillment. This is the accurate way to state the matter. The Church doesn’t have the authority to change God’s commands, as She acknowledges, but can only to declare the teaching of Christ and spiritual discipline. Again, this authority is derived from the Apostolic power of the Church to “bind and loose”.
Even though Seventh-day Adventists try to get Christians to believe that the “Lord’s Day,” as spoken of by the Apostle John in the Book of Revelation, is Saturday, such peripheral resources reveal otherwise. Ignatius, the disciple of the Apostle John, explicitly contrasts the Sabbath and the Lord’s Day. What the Letter of Barnabas calls the “eighth day” (Sunday) the Early Church Fathers took up, not merely as the first day of the cyclical week, but also as the new day of a new creation. It is a day of substantial significance, and thus Saint Justin Martyr states in his First Apology,

Sunday is the day on which we all hold our common assembly, because it is the first day on which God, having wrought a change in the darkness and matter, made the world; and Jesus Christ our Savior on the same day rose from the dead. For He was crucified on the day before that of Saturn (Saturday); and on the day after that of Saturn, which is the day of the Sun, having appeared to His apostles and disciples, He taught them these things, which we have submitted to you also for your consideration.

Concerning the dietary laws, we also find their purpose fulfilled in Christ, as they relate to representing the Gentiles as to be separated and unclean for the Jews (see Acts 10:9-16, 15:7-20). In Christ the Gentiles are “made clean” and so have been joined to the Jews in the perfect worship of God through the one Christ who redeems them all.

Ultimately, according to the New Testament’s description of the Church, I came to appreciate that the Church that Christ told us He would build Himself, as best illustrated in the Gospel of Matthew and the Book of Acts, cannot apostatize as a whole. Again, this is because Christ gave the Church, principally in Her authoritative hierarchy, the shared gift of the Holy Spirit to guide the Church, as the Gospel of John states, and to protect Her from the damnation of Hades, as Matthew states. In fact, Saint Paul tells Timothy that the Church is the “pillar and foundation of truth” (1 Tim 3:15). This is because the Church, who is intimately united to Christ, in turn tells us about Christ. She does not “interpret” Her relationship with Him. She is one with Him, as Paul wrote to the Romans, the Corinthians, the Ephesians, and to the Colossians. Thus there is an inherent problem with the Protestant idea of “Restorationism” within such groups as those of the Stone-Campbell movement Churches of Christ and Disciples of Christ, of Joseph Smith, Jr. and the Latter-day Saints, of Ellen White and the Seventh-day Adventists, or of Charles Russell and the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

TRACK 10. (2.37)

Lastly, Ellen White’s so-called visions dealing with such doctrines came after the fact, as though attempts to validate someone’s novel idea, such as Joseph Bates’ belief in the Sabbath. Thus her “visions” are highly suspect. For she was already intimately wrapped up in the excitement and zeal of the Adventist predictions of the Second Coming of Christ – which had failed three times! Yet, not being able to admit error as William Miller had, many of his followers didn’t give up. Hiram Edson claimed to have had a vision revealing that Christ did not yet intend to come back to “cleanse the earth,” as Miller had thought, but rather to “cleanse the temple in heaven,” thus giving the Adventists novel ideas of both of the nature of heaven (their “Heavenly Sanctuary” idea) and of Christ’s work in heaven (their “Investigative Judgment” idea). Ellen White then came out and claimed to substantiate his vision with visions of her own. Later, the retired sea captain Joseph Bates became convinced by a tract he had read that Christians are still called to worship according to the Jewish Sabbath. He convinced Ellen and her husband James of this, and later she claims to have had another vision to substantiate this belief. The New Testament calls such Sabbath keeping beliefs the teachings of the Judaizers, those who accepted the Christ of the New Covenant but were still partially stuck in their adherence of the Old Covenant.
As for me, I don’t expect, nor do I hope for any more such experiences. Rather, I see how my few experiences were enough for God to use them to wake me up to the reality of my sin and to guide me into His house of refuge – The Church – where He provides the Seven Sacraments of the New Covenant to empower me and free me from sin. God be praised! Unlike Ellen White, I do not pretend to have experiences in order to validate my friend’s or my own novel ideas. In his book The Rapture, Dr. Thigpen provides an outline for discerning the message and the messenger of a “private revelation”. He says the main point of discernment should always lead one to ask, “Does the message contradict clear teaching of the Church with regard to faith or morals? If so, reject it.” (The Rapture Trap, pgs. 229-235). Unlike many of those who claimed to have had visions in the nineteenth century in order to found a so-called new “church,” my experiences didn’t contradict the ancient Church but actually led me to Her so I could learn that “clear teaching”.

TRACK 11. (5.02)
Afterword

My girlfriend from earlier in this story discerned with me that we were not called to be together. For two years after parting ways with her I went on to discern a possible vocation to the priesthood, but with an official Spiritual Director assigned to me discerned otherwise. Yet, through another inspiring story of intercession through Saint Augustine I found my wife – Melissa Augustine! In other words, praying also helped me discern my life’s vocation. For the whole story, including more details on the above controversies, I humbly recommend my book Praying Made Me Catholic: With the Biblical and Historical Reasons I Must Remain Catholic published by Coming Home Resources. As of the fall of 2008 we transferred from the University of Wisconsin to Newman University in Wichita, Kansas where I am working toward a Masters in Theology. My long-term goal is a Ph.D. to teach university level, but we’ll see how the Lord chooses to continue guiding us.

Before I go, I’d like to suggest a few resources and books for those interested in learning more about the Catholic Church and its history.
First, a few quality internet sites. The radio program Catholic Answers Live archives all of their daily shows, many of which are topic based. So I would recommend going to www.catholic.com and checking them out. Another great site is the Eternal Word Television Network’s site at www.ewtn.com where one can also find archived shows of the Journey Home, hosted by Marcus Grodi, a former Presbyterian minister who came into the Church. On his show he interviews many former Protestant clergy from pretty much every denomination who have discovered the original Church. Lastly, as a solid source of CD and DVD educational materials on the Catholic faith I highly recommend Saint Joseph Communications at www.saintjoe.com.
Books: On general Catholic apologetics I recommend Karl Keating’s Catholicism and Fundamentalism and the Scott Hahn series Catholic for a Reason.
There are a lot of books I would recommend on intellectual conversion to the Catholic Church, so I’ll just run through several quick. Jeff Cavins’ My Life on the Rock; David B. Currie’s Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic; Timothy Drake’s There We Stood, Here We Stand: 11 Lutherans Rediscover Their Catholic Roots; Marcus Grodi’s Journeys Home; Scott and Kimberly Hahn’s Rome Sweet Home; Thomas Howard’s Evangelical is Not Enough; Alex Jones’ No Price Too High: A Pentecostal Preacher Becomes Catholic; Patrick Madrid’s three volume Surprised By Truth series; Stephen Ray’s Crossing the Tiber: Evangelical Protestants Discover the Historical Church; Mark Shea’s By What Authority? An Evangelical Discovers Catholic Tradition; and Bruce Sullivan’s Christ in His Fullness: A Protestant Minister Discovers the Fullness of Christ in the Catholic Church.
On Church History I recommend Mike Aquilina’s The Fathers of the Church; Rod Bennett’s Four Witnesses: The Early Church in Her Own Words; Harry Crocker’s Triumph: The Power and the Glory of the Catholic Church, A 2,000-Year History; Richard Hogan’s Dissent from the Creed: Heresies Past and Present; William Jurgens’ The Faith of the Early Fathers; and John Willis’ The Teachings of the Church Fathers.
On Scripture and biblical issues I recommend Dave Armstrong’s A Biblical Defense of Catholicism and his The Catholic Verses: 95 Bible Passages That Confound Protestants; Henry Graham’s Where We Got Our Bible, Our Debt to the Catholic Church; Patrick Madrid’s Where Is That in the Bible?; and Robert Sungenis’ books Not By Bread Alone: The Biblical and Historical Evidence for the Eucharistic Sacrifice; his book Not By Faith Alone: The Biblical Evidence for the Catholic Doctrine of Justification and his Not By Scripture Alone: A Catholic Critique of the Protestant Doctrine of Sola Scriptura.
Books on the Sacraments and the Mass. Mike Aquilina’s The Mass of the Early Christians; Benedict Groeschel and James Monti’s In the Presence of Our Lord; James O’Connor’s The Hidden Manna: A Theology of the Eucharist; and finally some more of Dr. Scott Hahn’s books: The Lamb’s Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth; Letter and Spirit: From Written Text to Living Word in the Liturgy; Lord, Have Mercy: The Healing Power of Confession; and lastly his Swear to God: The Promise and Power of the Sacraments.

Thank you very much for your time in allowing me to share how God has blessed me by leading me into the original Church.
All glory be to the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.